


novaturient

by djarinbarnes



Series: Sebastian Stan [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Camboy Bucky Barnes, Dirty Talk, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Masturbation, Pornstar Bucky Barnes, Possible Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24555103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djarinbarnes/pseuds/djarinbarnes
Summary: novaturient ○ (adj.) desiring or seeking powerful change in one’s life, behavior or situation.Stumbling across a captivating thumbnail with an even more captivating body leaves you wanting more.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: Sebastian Stan [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553680
Comments: 67
Kudos: 136





	1. Vorfreude

Coming home after a stressful day made you want to take a scalding hot bath and curl up in your bed, preferably with some kind of distraction.

As soon as the door closed behind you, you shrugged off your jacket and shoes before wandering to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of chilled white wine. You took a long sip before padding over to your bathroom.

Putting the glass down on the marble counter with a _clink_ , you turned on the shower before undressing yourself, throwing your clothes in the hamper. You winced as you put your hand under the scorching water coming out of your pipes.

You reluctantly slid under the showerhead, the warm water engulfing you, calming you after the argument you’d had with one of your coworkers today. He literally made your toes curl with rage every time he spoke up. He always acted like he was better knowing, he always had to have the last word.

But he was hot. His face was possibly sculpted by gods and, no lie, you had thought about that pretty face in between your thighs once or twice. But given his attitude, you quickly pushed those thoughts out of your head. _Fucking James and his smart mouth_. You let out a groan as you angrily washed your hair and body before turning off the scorching water and grabbing a towel to dry yourself off. You tied it around your body before using your hand to wipe your mirror slightly.

You sighed as you emptied the remains of your wine into your mouth, looking at your reflection defeatedly.

“You need to get laid.” You told your reflection before you rolled your eyes, reaching over to grab another towel to dry off your hair. With the towel tied into some kind of turban on top of your head you scurried out to the fridge to refill your glass with wine before you dropped down on your bed, phone in hand.

You bit your lip as you felt the urge to dig out your vibrator from your nightstand. You sat up slightly, taking a big sip from your glass before placing it on the nightstand, opening the drawer and sliding your hand into the darkness to locate the vibrating egg.

Wrapping your fingers around it, you slid the drawer closed before falling back on the bed, looking at the smooth contraption. You grabbed your phone, opening up your internet browser and a private window, before typing in your destination. You clicked on the egg, the feeling of the vibrations on your hands already turning you on.

Holding the vibrator against your clit, you pushed your thighs together. Browsing through Pornhub looking for release had you extremely wet between your legs already. You didn’t really know what you were looking for in particular. You let out a frustrated groan, sighing as you gripped your phone harder, the vibrations on your clit causing heat to spread in your abdomen.

Then something caught your eye. The thumbnail held a picture of probably one of the prettiest cocks you had ever seen. Was that even a possibility? Could a cock be pretty? This one was. And the muscular, trained abdomen showcased behind the thick length had your mouth watering.

**_You Deserve To Be Fucked By Daddy – Solo Male Roleplay, Dirty Talk + Cumshot_ **

Damn, this guy really was an Adonis. The only thing you couldn’t see was his face. You bit your lip as you clicked on the thumbnail.

The first thing that spilled through your speakers and into your ears was a sinful, deep moan coming from the male. You bit your lip as you watched his hand glide gracefully over his erect cock, his thumb grazing the head of his cock every time his hand came to the top.

_“Mm, you deserve it, don’t you baby?”_

Your cunt convulsed around nothing, his deep voice and words turning you on indescribably more than you had expected. You chewed on your lip as your eyes fluttered, the pressure and vibrations on your clit pushing you closer to the edge.

_“You deserve to be punished by your daddy… You’ve been a naughty little girl…”_

You whimpered at his words, his smooth voice alighting a fire in the pit of your stomach you normally didn’t get when watching porn.

_“Naughty little girls like you need to be taught a lesson…”_

You caught yourself whimpering a _yes_ , as if he was laying right on top of you, teasing you, keeping you from reaching your high. You slid two fingers in between your folds, your fingers gliding easily through the slick. You pushed them into yourself languidly, pumping them slowly.

_“You understand that you need to be taught a lesson, don’t you?”_

You whimpered out another _yes_ as you forced your legs together to sustain your orgasm for as long as possible. You squeezed your eyes shut as he let out a series of groans, the sounds spilling from his hidden lips sending you over the edge.

You came around your fingers, the vibrator pressed tightly against your clit carrying you through your orgasm, which had come embarrassingly quick. You laid in your bed panting as his sinful words and groans kept spilling into your ears, keeping the fire inside your cunt alight.

_“And so… I’m gonna rip your clothes off… I’m gonna wrap my arms around your neck… I’m gonna fuck you, hard… I’m gonna make you scream for me...”_

You gasped as you were taken aback by another orgasm, stars appearing behind your eyelids as you pulled the vibrator away from your clit forcefully, whimpering and curling into yourself as you came down from your high.

You had barely made it through one minute of the five-minute-long video, letting out a small huff of a laugh at your apparent horniness. Your finger slid over the bar, hurrying through the rest of the video to the end, where you knew the cumshot would be.

You bit your lips as you watched him pick up the pace of his hand, his fingers tightening around his shaft as his abdominal muscles tensed… and with a deep groan, the cum shot out of his cock. It was the most arousing thing you had ever seen, and you felt the heat in between your legs blossom again.

You sighed as you contemplated on just closing the page or furthering your arousing adventure by clicking on his profile. Your thumb hovered over his name, before you decided to click on it.

 **_BuckNasty_ ** _  
onlyfans: bucknasty  
snapchat: bucknasty  
Add me for hot pics and videos. Hopefully I’ll live up to your expectations._

You rolled your eyes and let out a laugh. This was crazy. Were you seriously considering doing this?


	2. vagary

The next day, you were sitting at the office, twirling your pen between your fingers. You couldn’t get the thought of him out of your head. Was this normal? You sighed and shook your head. Never in a million years had you spared pornography a second thought after getting your fix. But _bucknasty_ just wouldn’t leave your mind.

You had reluctantly made an account on _onlyfans_ last night and had subscribed to him. You had scrolled your way through his many posts, taking in everything you could. His defined chest had your mouth watering, his perfect, thick cock burnt into your mind. You’d never thought talking dirty would turn you on that much, but this man just had some kind of effect on you.

You bit your lips as the thought of _that cock and those words_ brought back the feelings from last night. You crossed your legs and leaned back into your chair, exhaling through your nose. You were supposed to calculate the funds for the next internship’s project, but yet you were getting hot and bothered by some faceless guy you had masturbated to.

The blush on your cheeks didn’t go unnoticed. In fact, you wish it had.

“What’s got you all hot and bothered y/n? I feel sorry for whoever keeps your mind occupied.”

“None of your business, Barnes. Don’t see why you would care anyways.”

“Trust me, I don’t. Just wanna give any unlucky guy a fair warning. I know you’ve had some fellas over, but they never seem to come back for more. Are you really that boring? Or are you just easy?”

You heard a gasp beside you. You felt your heart halt in your chest and the lump in your throat nudge its’ way into your tear ducts. How could he be so vile and cold hearted? You felt the corners of your eyes wet and you looked away from him to gather yourself.

“Ah, shit y/n. I’m sorry you got offended when I called you a hoe. I didn’t know it was a secret.” He said with a fake pout. Your lip quivered as you looked up at him, you jaw clenched tightly. You weren’t gonna give in this time.

“For fucks sake, grow up Barnes! I didn’t realize you were an expert in my life and how I’m supposed to live it and who I’m supposed to sleep with. But please do continue, I’ll be taking notes.” You turned a page on your notepad and clicked open the pen you were still holding, looking up at him. He was just about to open his mouth when his phone chimed in his pocket. He pulled it out and smirked as he took a look at the screen.

“Hold that thought y/n. Work’s calling.” he sent you a wink before leaving you at your desk, his nose buried in his, apparently, very important notification. You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You let your arms fold on your desk, laying your head on top of them.

“ _Fuck_.” You breathed out. You sighed before turning back to the original page on your notepad and bringing your laptop back to life before scribbling down a few numbers before plotting them into your computer and doing the equation. It added up just as your phone lit up beside you.

_BuckNasty added a new video!_

You bit your lip as your eyes widened. You made sure your phone’s volume was turned down as well as the brightness of your screen as you clicked on the notification. You managed to read the title before locking your phone, fishing your earbuds out of your bag and quickly making your way to the bathroom, locking yourself in one of the stalls.

**_You make me so hard – dreaming about fucking your mouth, hard and deep_ **

You sighed deeply before unlocking your phone, thumb hovering over the small play button. You dropped down onto the closed lid of the toilet, plugging in the cord and pushing the bud into your ear, reluctantly hitting the small arrow. The video loaded languidly. The set-up was like his usual videos, he was standing in front of the camera, this time in his tight, black boxers.

You could see his erection through the fabric, and you whimpered as he slid his hand over the protrusion.

 _“You’ve been such a bad girl, running your smart mouth like that… You need to be shut up properly.”_ His sinful, deep voice filled your ears and instantly made a damp spot appear in your panties. _“You like disobeying me like that, you brat? Talking back to me?”_

You watched as he freed his erection from his boxers, watching the way his pectoral muscles tensed as his hands slid the black fabric down his hips, leaning over just a bit. He let the fabric rest at the middle of his thick thighs, his hands sliding up the skin of the previously mentioned languidly, his right hand gripping his cock tightly.

He let out a moan, tugging at his cock, turning his body slightly. _“Open that bratty mouth up for my cock and I’ll consider rewarding you if you’re a good girl.”_ You bit your lip as you watched his movements, your panties becoming unbearably soaked with every minute passing.

_“You like that, huh? You like having my thick cock all the way down your throat?”_

You stifled a whimper before it could leave your throat, watching as his hand left his cock, licking your lips as the spit dripped into it from outside the lens’ eye.

Shooting a glance down his cock, his head is filled with the thought of your lips wrapped around the head of his cock. The image in his mind had him moaning more than usual, and it made his mouth water.

“You like that huh? You like having my thick cock all the way down your throat?”

He stopped himself shortly to spit into his hand and bringing it back down, the saliva making his movements glide more smoothly. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, imagining the warm heat of a mouth – _your mouth_ – as he picked up the pace of his movements.

“Fuck, your throat is gripping me so good… Gonna cum deep into your throat… You want that, huh? You want my cum down your throat? God you’re such a slut for my cum.” he swore he heard your muffled moan and it made his scrotum tighten unbearably – he was so close.

You were the root for all of his videos. You and your smart mouth, the only one in the office who would talk back to him. You frustrated him so fucking much, all he ever wanted was to shut you up good – preferably with his cock down your throat or so deeply buried inside of you so you could barely form a coherent sentence.

It hadn’t always been like that, of course. It only became this way after you refused his 20 or so attempts of asking you out. He never really found out _why_ you didn’t want to go out with him, but as time passed, he cared less and less. Now you were simply the reason why he made close to $1000 on the side a month.

With the thought of that, he came. He almost yelped out your name, his hand tightly squeezing his thigh, imagining it to be the hair at the back of your head. Groans emitted from deep within his throat as he watched his cum coat his hand and the paper towels laid out off camera.

“Fuck, such a good girl for your daddy… Open your mouth and show me if you’ve been good…”

He smirked as he let out a small laugh, thinking about what he was gonna say to you as he headed back to his desk. Maybe something snarky. Something that would rile you up… Something that would efficiently earn him some more cash when he got home. He turned off the video and looked it through before editing it a bit and uploading it to his onlyfans account. The ladies would sure love this one. They always beg for more.


	3. drapetomania

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> So this has been a long time coming, but it's longer than the previous two, so I hope that makes up for it ;)  
> I've been taking some time off the internet to spend time with my friends, and it's been so lovely, but now I'm back!  
> Thank you for sticking around.  
> Enjoy.

__

_8 months prior_

_Monday_

Walking into the building, your heart fluttered. This was a dream – your dream – come true. You had almost let out a squeal when Mr. Stark had called you and informed you that you had gotten the job as a copy editor at Stark Publishing. You’d saved the squeal until after he’d hung up, of course.

Ever since you were young, you had dreamed of helping people, and during middle and high school, you had been the one who’d read through your classmates’ stories and essays. You loved giving constructive criticism, and at Stark Publishing, you would finally get to use your skills.

You barely made it to the elevator before it closed, but a handsome man pushed his hand in between the closing doors, alerting them to slide open again.

“Thank you so much!” you breathed as you fell against the back of the elevator.

“Of course. First day?” He smiled and you nodded.

This man was handsome. Beautiful, even. He had to be in his late twenties, the crinkles around his eyes a sign of joy and not age. Maybe he made himself look younger? His hair was boyishly styled, and his icy blue eyes glinted with youngness. You quickly diverted your eyes as it donned upon you that you were staring.

“It’s alright, I know I’m good looking. I’m James.” He extended your hand to you and you shook it while telling him your name. “Oh, so it is you. I’m supposed to show you around today. You’re late. Stark is not gonna be happy with this.” He straightened his posture in some formal manner, making you reconsider your choice of clothing this morning.

A simple white button-down blouse hung from your shoulders, along with a sleek, black pencil shirt and your trusty black ballerinas, which probably needed a replacement soon. You felt his gaze on you like the elevator going up, and you pushed your lips together, letting out a breath through your nose, your heart beginning to pound in your chest.

“Gosh I am so sorry! There was so much traffic, so I had to take the subway s-“

“Hey, shush, I’m joking. Tony is large in that department.” You let out a deep sigh, grateful that your clumsy persona who overslept on her first day had a boss like that.

“I’m sorry I’m late James, it’s been a pretty hectic morning.” You straightened your skirt and tidied up your button-down, making sure you looked presentable. You felt his eyes on you as you ran your fingers through your hair. “Again, I’m so sorry, that was so unprofessional of me.”

“Let’s say we forget about this incident… And then you can make it up to me by going to dinner with me?” he shot you a wink and one of those overly confident smiles. He watched you closely as your shocked expression turned into a soft smile. You cleared your throat before nodding.

“Um, okay. Yeah. That sounds good.” You smiled and let out a giggle. It had been a long time since someone had actually asked you out. You’d played the internet dating thing for a few weeks, none of the matches actually ending up in an actual date since every one of their agendas was sex. So, you had simply given up the hunt, not even bothering to spare a second glance at the men in the street.

When the elevator doors opened, you stepped out into the office after James, nodding as he pointed out the different occupants of the booths, not going into more detail than their names. You followed him around as he showed you the coffee machine, the printers and the bathrooms.

“And this is me. James Barnes, chief editor for Stark Publishing. Everything goes through either me or Steve over in the corner there,” he pointed to a blond man with the nose buried in what appeared to be a manuscript. “If you have any doubts, be free to come to me. I’ll help you out.” He gestured for you to walk in front of him, leading you to your desk.

“And this is you. If you need anything, I’ll be right over here. And until… Friday? I’ll pick you up at 7?” he offered you a small smirk, along with a wink.

“Yeah. Friday and 7 sounds good.” You smiled and lifted your bag onto your desk. He left you there with a nod as you started settling in.

“You and Barnes, huh? It’s your first day, right? He got you in his net already?” Your head whipped around as a voice spoke up beside you. A pretty red head with a gum bubble popping between her lips watched you intensely. “I’m sorry, that was a bit rude. I’m Wanda. I’m one the commissioning editors. It wasn’t my intention to eavesdrop, I just can’t help it.”

“Y/n.” You gave her a small smile before shrugging your shoulders. “I don’t know if he’s got me in his net… It’s just a date.” Grabbing your notebook out of your bag, you turned on the computer before you, typing in the username and password you’d gotten along with your confirmation of the job.

“Oh, nothing is _just a date_ with him. I’m not trying to scare you off or anything, but he’s dated almost every woman in this room. I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen him naked by now, and been with him one way or another...” She shrugged her shoulders, popping another bubble between her lips. “I’m just trying to warn you. I don’t want you to end up heartbroken like I did last year. He makes you believe it’s going well, takes his time softening you up and making you believe it’s all a dance on roses, and then he rips your heart out.”

You could feel your heart drop into your stomach already. Wanda had really rendered you speechless. “I’m just saying… Be careful, okay? Don’t give into him quickly. He’s handsome, and he knows it. And he knows how to persuade the women. I don’t want to see your job being a living hell for you from the start.” She turned in her chair and went back to working on her computer.

You admired her for a minute. She was undeniably beautiful, her soft features and apparent soft red hair making her look almost angelic. You wondered for just a few short moments what she had done with James. Images of the two of them filled your mind and you blushed at the lack of filter in your head.

Shaking your head and turning back to your computer, you went through your emails first, seeing a message from James in your inbox. You looked up and noticed him watching you, sending you a wink before turning back to his own work. You sighed and reluctantly opened it, keeping Wanda’s words in mind.

_Wear something red. I love a beautiful woman in red._

You rolled your eyes and sighed. This wasn’t going to end well.

_Friday_

“So, do you know more about your date with James?” Wanda had cornered you just as you were about to pack up your things and head home to get ready. Truth to be told, you hadn’t thought about much else than the date and the manuscript that had landed on your table on Wednesday.

“Well... He told me he’s taking me to some restaurant with some French name I can’t pronounce. And that I should wear something red.” You shrugged your shoulders and watched her nod her head.

“ _Le Bernardin,_ that’s a classic. His sister owns the place.” She shrugged and offered you a small smile. “Just… Be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you hurt. If you need anything, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to give me a call, alright?” She wrote her number on one of the post-it’s on your desk. You gave her a nod, further second-guessing your date with apparent playboy James Barnes.

You decided on walking the few miles back to your apartment to clear your head, but as you unlocked your door, you hadn’t decided on what to do yet. Part of you wanted to annihilate off the surface of the earth, but the other wanted to jump this man’s bones.

He’d been not-so-subtly flirting with you all week, winking at you over the dividers and even memorizing your coffee order and bringing it to you outside of coffee runs. It seemed as if he made an effort, and you really wanted to believe he was doing it because he actually liked you. But with Wanda’s advice in mind, you couldn’t be sure.

You wondered what he imagined about the garments hidden in your wardrobe. You knew you didn’t have the most flamboyant style of clothing, and sure, you did have a few dresses on the spectrum, but nothing head turning. Seeing you showered this morning, you simply did a small wing of eyeliner before putting on some more mascara, not really wanting to go over the top with your makeup either.

Making your way to your closet, you looked at the clock on your nightstand – _6:19pm_. He would be here in less than 45 minutes. Your heartrate slowly picked up the pace as you picked out the [red, flowery dress](https://assets.ajio.com/medias/sys_master/root/h14/h51/12921247760414/-473Wx593H-460318725-red-MODEL6.jpg) you had bought at Goodwill’s, along with your trusty, flat ballerinas. You didn’t even know what you expected would happen with James during or after your date.

You contemplated on just canceling, maybe telling him that something had come up? A cat funeral. A sick aunt. Your mother needing help with… laundry?

Before you could come up with another excuse, the doorbell sounded throughout your apartment. _Had you really been cramped up in your thoughts for half an hour?_ Taking a deep breath before tying your dress in the back, you reluctantly made your way through your apartment, throwing your hair over your shoulder before opening the door to a very smiley James, flowers in hand. A smile spread on your lips.

“Hey beautiful. These are for you.” You admired the flowers as he held them out for you to take,

“Hi, James.” You said as you took the flowers from his extended hand. “Thank you, they’re lovely. I’ll just put them in some water, then we’ll be on our way.”

Sitting at the restaurant, you noticed how James would change demeanor every time he spoke to the staff, maintaining an authoritative tone throughout placing your order before turning back to you with a smile. You couldn’t help but sigh with relief, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when he excused himself to the bathroom.

You pulled out your phone to text Wanda the details about your date, taking a sip of your water while you kept an eye out for your date. James was so different around you than others, and you wondered what the reason was. You pushed your phone back into your purse as you noticed James coming back to the table.

When your orders were placed in front of you, you pretended to enjoy your food, when all you wanted to do was go home and cuddle in your bed, alone. The conversation was mainly James talking about himself and the accomplishments he’d made over the last few years.

When your plates were cleared and taken away by the staff, he picked up his glass of wine and emptied it in a big sip before propping his elbows on the table and his chin on his knuckles.

“So, what do I have to do to get you to come back to my place?” he asked with no remorse. “I’ll bet that cute dress will look ravishing on my bedroom floor.”

You were taken aback by his forwardness and cockiness. Up until now he’d only been remotely interested in you. He talked more with himself than with you, and you found it very annoying. He pulled his wallet out of his pants and left bills enough to cover the expenses.

“I like my dress where it is. Thank you for the date. It was sufficient. I have to get home.” You pulled your jean jacket on and stood from your seat, making your way to the exit. Once you were outside, looking at your phone to call an Uber, you heard him behind you.

“I bought you dinner, y/n. The least you can do is repay the favor.” You balled your fists and sighed.

“Look, I don’t need to repay you for anything. You invited me. I accepted. That was it. It was alright, now I would just like to go home.”

You felt his hand slide its way over your back, landing just over your ass.

“Come on. A sexy little minx like you must have some urges she needs to fulfill. I can bring every one of your fantasies to life” He whispered into your ear before letting his hand fall another ten inches, his fingers now digging into your butt cheek. You turned to him and raised your hand, slapping him hard across the cheek. He stared at you while his hand cupped his burning skin.

“Don’t you dare touch me again without my consent.” You spit out, before getting into the Uber now parked at the curb.

Monday would definitely be the end of you.


	4. lítost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we learn... a bit more... about bucky's thoughts....

__

_That same night_

One thing James Barnes didn’t like, was getting a no. During his whole life, he’d gotten pretty much everything he’d asked for. Then why did you have to come along and be so stubborn and just fucking… perfect?

Many thoughts flew through his head on his way home, his hand still traveling up to touch his throbbing cheek occasionally, where your skin had connected with his. His heart fluttered even though his skin stung.

You had actually touched him. Even though it wasn’t the way he had favored your touch, it was something. Sparks ignited in his skin as he thought back to your face just as he had said his usual pick up line, and right there, in that moment, he knew you were different from all the other girls he’d ever taken out.

He knew that way before the date, though. He’d known the moment he saw you run through the sliding doors of the office building – a feeling of something he’d never felt before. It was like warmth flourished throughout his chest, his mouth going dry and his hands getting clammy.

It was like everything was in slow-motion as he watched you run for the elevator which he had just gotten into. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts before putting out his hand to halt the doors. And when you fell back against the elevator, you smiled up at him and spoke up, he felt his heart explode in his chest.

He was taken aback by your scent, jasmine with a hint of pomegranate, and his thoughts immediately went to burying his nose into your hair when he hugged you or pushing his head into the pillow when you had slept on, after you left. He imagined so many scenarios in his head in the span of merely a few seconds, but it was more than enough time for him to decide his next step.

He’d always had it easy with the ladies, so he figured he would play it safe and put on his charming, at times arrogant façade. And when you softened up to him, a nervous smile and a blush creeping up into your cheeks, he felt at peace. Anything he wanted, he got. And he would get you.

Or not.

He felt the anger blossoming inside his chest as he unlocked his front door, letting out a grunt as his back slammed against it after it closed. He couldn’t pinpoint where the date had gone south. He’d done the same as he usually would on a date – flowers, expensive restaurant (which was cheaper because of his sister) and flaunting his knowledge. All he was missing was to take you home and show you his talents in bed.

Normally at this point, he would have been fucking his date into the mattress. Yet here he was, all alone in his apartment, that suddenly felt too big.

He’d been so sure that he’d gotten through to you at some point of the week, but apparently not. All the spontaneous coffee runs and small sticky notes he’d left for you apparently hadn’t made a difference, like he’d imagined they would.

He wondered if you had talked to any of the female employees at Starks, or if you just weren’t interested. You’d seemed so happy that he had asked you on a date, where was that happiness? Even though he had barely gotten to know you, he felt like it wasn’t like your mood to shift on a plate like that.

Although he should’ve known this would happen. He’d seen the shift in the way you looked at him in the elevator and on the date.

He gnawed on his lip as he unbuttoned his shirt, making his way to the bedroom to call it a night. All the possible scenarios he’d planned out in his head, from tasting you for the first time, sucking his want and need into your skin before claiming you as his ended in him wanting to let out a scream in frustration.

He shed his dress shirt over the back of a chair before unbuckling his pants and leaving them on the floor. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket before pulling up the well-known number, sending the usual text.

_**You busy?** _

The answer came just as quickly as he sent the text.

_No. Ft in 5._

He sighed and bit his lip, making his way to the bathroom. It always got messy during the sessions. He wiped a stray tear from his eye, letting his hands run over his face, pulling a grimace before sighing. This was exactly the reason why he didn’t do relationships. It was just easier to do the no strings attached thing.

His phone chimed in his hand and he bit his lip at the caller id. He pushed his hand through his hair before setting his phone against the wall, sliding to answer. Her breasts barely covered with light purple lace and thin waist was the only thing visible on his screen and he let out a groan at her provocativeness.

“Fuck baby that all for me?” he let out another groan as his hand fell to the front of his boxers, his cock underneath the restraints now straining the material.

_“All for you, baby… You should know that by now…”_ her sweet, sinful voice filled his ears and he let his head fall back with a small chuckle. When his eyes once again found the screen of his phone, he watched as she let pushed together her breasts, one of the straps on her bra falling off her shoulder.

_“You look good tonight Buck… What has got you so worked up? You only text during emergencies…”_ She let the other strap fall off her shoulder like the first one, her hand gracefully sliding up her arm to play with the strap.

“Date gone south. Actually really liked this one. Like genuinely. Saw a future with her within the first hour of knowing her.” He palmed his erection through his boxers, sighing as the thoughts mixed with the friction almost made him lose the growing hard on. He watched as she pushed one strap back up her shoulder.

_“You sure you wanna do this Bucky? It seems like this isn’t what you need right now. Maybe you should just be yourself tonight and watch some episodes of CSI like you usually do?”_ he sighed at her honesty before dropping his head.

“Baby… You know me better than anyone. I guess I just have to get over her.” He sighed in defeat and suddenly felt small. He leaned over to the hamper and pulled out the shirt he had discarded that same morning, before pulling it over his head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve thought twice before sending that text.”

_“Hey hey, no worries. I wasn’t doing much anyways… Jesus. I’ve never seen you like this.”_ He watched as she left the screen to pull on a robe. She came back only moments later, lifting her phone off the stand. _“Why don’t you tell me about the date? Or about the girl. You know I love a good gossip sesh.”_

He watched as she settled into her bedsheets her soft features now occupying the screen. “You look beautiful today. Like an Albert Lynch painting.” It wasn’t like he was trying to avoid the questions, but he felt that weird clench in his heart every time he thought about you.

He wanted to talk about you more than anything. He’d never felt a pull so strong towards someone before, and it scared him a little. When he finally settled into bed himself, phone in hand facing him, he spilled his thoughts to one of the only women in his life he knew he could trust.

When he finally opened his mouth, it was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. There was just something calming about finally letting out his feelings – _his true feelings_ – to another person.

He told her about how his heart had picked up speed when he’d seen you for the first time, how your hair looked so soft and smelt so wonderfully, how your eyes glinted in the lights from the elevator and the smile that had adorned your face when he’d asked you on a date.

He told her about how he would not-so-subtly sneak out of the office to get you your favorite coffee, how he would go out of his way to leave post it’s on your desk and watch how your face would light up when you read them.

He told her about how taken aback he was when you opened the door merely hours ago, standing there in one of the cutest dresses he’d ever laid eyes upon, and how you’d just been so naturally beautiful it made his heart flutter.

How he, during the whole ride to the restaurant stole glances at you, how the line between your eyebrows would disappear when you let out a soft giggle and how your eyes would wander out of the cab window, watching the city pass by.

When you’d been sitting in front of him at the restaurant, how you’d watch him with your head slightly tilted, your eyes following his lips as he stupidly enough never let the conversation fall over to you.

How his heart had fallen in his chest as he came back from the ‘bathroom’, where he’d in reality talked to his sister about how much he actually liked this girl, only to find you with your eyebrows furrowed, looking into your phone. And how you’d hidden it away quickly as you noticed him returning.

At that point, he knew he had to shoot his shot, or all was lost. And when you had basically left him at the table, he hadn’t chosen to let you go that easily, which had resulted in his slightly red cheek and a very hurt ego.

He told her about how everything felt so confusing, even though he knew what he wanted. As he finally let out the last breath, a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and shook his head.

_“My, my Bucky. It sounds like you’ve fallen in love. And you’re definitely in deep.”_


	5. mágoa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for you Nahema - happy birthday darling <3
> 
> (not sure how I feel about this one though...)

When you shut the door behind you, you leant against it defeatedly, the door emitting a loud thud when your head fell back against it.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew it was wrong to go on a date with someone within the first week of working in a new place. The fact that you agreed to go on a date with someone who actually was the epitome of a fuckboy, made you cringe.

You should’ve never agreed. This would haunt you every day you were at work. His presence in the office would make it a challenge for you. You sighed as you pushed your back off the door, sauntering over to where the flowers James had given you were standing beautifully in their vase.

You angrily grabbed the vase before stomping out the door, emptying the flowers into the trash can out by the fence. Slamming the lid closed you felt the tears escaping your eyes. _Fucking fuck fuck._ You made your way back into your apartment before grabbing your phone, dialing Wanda’s number.

 _“Hello?”_ she sounded surprised that you’d called, but you let out a sigh as you wiped the tears staining your cheeks.

“Hey Wanda… I’m sorry I’m calling this late, I just didn’t know who else to call, and I really need to talk to someone right now.” Your voice cracked as you spoke the last sentence, sobs emitting from your throat as you slid down onto the soft cushions of your couch.

 _“Hey, y/n,hey darling, calm down for me, alright?”_ you heard Wanda speak, not really hearing what she said. You covered your eyes with your hand and let the tears fall freely, while sobbing loudly into the phone.

 _“Y/n, breathe with me alright?”_ you nodded, but felt the embarrassment creep into your cheeks.

“Sorry, I nodded…” you let out a breathy laugh, feeling your cheeks tense up as a few more tears slipped down your cheeks.

 _“Alright y/n, you’re gonna breathe, okay? You’re going to hold your breath while I count, and then release when I tell you to. Can you do that for me?”_ You chewed on your lip as you heard her instructions, before letting out another sob before saying a faint _yes_.

 _“One… Two…”_ You sucked in a breath as you heard Wanda start the count and held your breath until she asked you to exhale. Your pounding heart in your chest slowly fell into a steadier rhythm, as she repeated the count, and you held your breath.

 _“Great… Are you alright to talk?”_ You nodded into the phone before letting out another breathless laugh.

“I nodded again.” You bit your lip before looking down at your feet, pushing off the flat ballerinas. “So you know some of the details which I texted to you during the date…” you heard Wanda agree and encourage you to go on, even though you felt the tears well back up into your eyes.

“After he came back from the restroom, we ate while talked about himself and after our plates were cleared, he downed his glass of wine and asked me what it would take for me to end up in his bed, with my dress on the floor.” You let out another sigh, shaking your head.

“Then he insisted I had to repay him somehow because he paid for dinner…” you trailed off, biting the inside of your cheek to keep another wave of tears in. “And then he grabbed my butt. And then I hit him in the face.” You let out another laugh, this one more whole heartedly.

 _“Atta girl! First off, that’s just how James is. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Maybe he’ll learn from his mistakes, grow a pair of balls and stop being a womanizer now that he’s felt a proper rejection!”_ Wanda let out a laugh and you couldn’t help but laugh as well. There was just something contagious about her laugh.

 _“Second… I know this is maybe a little too soon to ask, but what are you gonna do on Monday? You work together in the same building, in the same room… There’s a good chance you’re gonna run into each other.”_ You sighed defeatedly, wondering how everything would turn out on Monday. You also wondered what James was doing.

After he counteracted the claims of him being in love, he felt a slight pang in his chest. Reluctantly they hung up, with Bucky promising to call her if anything were to happen, or if he simply needed to blow off steam.

As the weekend came to an end, all Bucky had done was work out in the fitness center where he usually went four times a week. His personal trainer had rolled his eyes when Bucky had told him _to keep it coming or he would do it himself._ The strain in his muscles every time he moved was a gentle reminder of his failure of a date, and he sighed as he made his way to work the following Monday.

When he entered the office, you were the first person he laid eyes on. Vibrant and beautiful, just like when he saw you last. Your laugh filled his ears, angelic as ever. When you turned your head away from Wanda and your eyes fell on him, the big smile fell from your face, and Bucky felt his heart clench in his chest.

He made his way to his desk and loosened his tie, sighing slightly before he felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder.

“’ey, Buck… Haven’t heard from you all weekend. How was the date?” Steve sat himself down in Bucky’s chair, leaning back slightly with a slightly crooked smile.

“Meh… I guess I won’t get a second date. It ended with me getting a slap on my face. It’s not a good look for me.” Bucky lifted his attaché bag onto his desk with a sigh, putting down the paper cup he was holding, which contained his energy for the day. Steve’s eyes widened before he let out a small laugh.

“What do you mean you got slapped in the face? What did you do?” Steve was trying to suppress his laugh, watching as his friend got more and more irritated, even though it was barely 9 am.

“That means she slapped me, Steve. What more do you want to know?” Bucky felt himself grow irritated as he watched Steve unable to keep his laughing fit in check.

“How the fuck did you, James Buchanan Barnes, fuck a date up so badly your date found it necessary to slap you in the face? That, to me, is a mystery.” Bucky rolled his eyes before they traveled back to your desk. You had placed your reading glasses on the tip of your nose, probably deeply concentrated with reading your first found manuscript.

Coming back to the office on Monday was easier than you expected it to be. James hadn’t appeared yet, and that lightened your mood a great deal. Within the first 10 minutes you and Wanda were both laughing and making jokes about the printer and talking about Peter, Tony’s intern, who did a lot of photoshop in his free time, often selling his artwork as front covers to some of the writers.

Wanda had just told you about her fiancé, Victor, and how he had shared the funniest story about one of the potential buyers for one of the houses they had listed. Given Victor was a real estate agent, he had loads of funny stories to tell about how different people actually can be, and what unbelievable questions they ask.

You had just gotten James off your mind as the elevator dinged, signaling its’ arrival, and you turned your head to see who had clocked in. You felt your blood run cold as you took in James as he left the elevator, handsome as ever with his attaché bag slung over his shoulder and a to-go cup of coffee in hand.

You watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the two of you briefly making eye contact before you let your gaze fall. His steps were as loud as ever as you figured out he was making his way to his desk. You heard Steve greet him before you turned in your chair, offering Wanda a small smile.

“I guess it’s gonna be weird after all…” you sighed before turning back to your computer, and burying your nose into your manuscript of the day, hopefully able to get your mind off the selfish, handsome playboy co-worker sitting merely 15 feet away from you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait on this one!  
> I've had such an unimaginative month with this story, and I finally started writing on it again.  
> I hoped you enjoyed, please don't forget to leave your feedback <3
> 
> ... more background story. I promise we'll get to the good stuff soon ;)


	6. eleutheromania

Months passed, and in those months, you learned just how vile some people could be. You had never expected that you would be talked down to by someone who seemed so interested in you, and it made your heart clench in your chest.

The first month after the date, James had asked you for multiple reconciliation dates, to which you all answered _no_. You agreed with yourself, that there was just no way in hell he had changed his set of mind. After his countless attempts, he finally gave up and left you alone.

Or so you thought.

It was barely two months after your first day at the office when the first rumors started going around about you. Something about you and the technician, who you didn’t even know. You heard it in the women’s restroom where you were hiding out for the lunch break, the cramped office becoming too much for you.

“Did you hear about Y/n and Loki? I heard they’ve been canoodling since she got here.” You heard a voice pip up from outside the stall. Your head shot up and your brows furrowed at the confession. You heard another voice speak up shortly after.

“God, she’s over all the guys at this place. First James, then Steve, I think I heard that too, and now Loki. God she’s such a slut.” The two women laughed in that annoyingly nasal way. You sighed, your eyes filling with tears yet again.

This was, apparently, your new every day. Sitting in the restroom, iced coffee in hand, just minding your own business. Listening to gossip, from the witches who had so few braincells, that gossiping was all they could do in their spare time.

It only got worse. Apparently, after a week, you had also seduced the college intern, Peter, who you had barely ever spoken a word to. Then, unimaginably, you had shagged Mr. Tony Stark himself to get a promotion.

You feared you would never find out where the rumors came from, until you a month later found a breach in the office system, leading you to a thread of mails, sent by none other than _[jbb@starkpublishing.com](mailto:jbb@starkpublishing.com)._

With a swift command P, you finally had some kind of relief from the countless hours you’d already spent in Mr. Stark’s office, trying to address every blatant lie that had been told about you. And now that you finally had your proof, you still halted outside his office doors.

You sighed as you looked down at the papers in your hands, biting your lip to prevent the tears from falling on your cheeks. You were standing there, proof in hands, yet doubting what you were about to do. You know he could potentially get fired, which delighted you. But still, you found yourself feeling bad.

Your fist rapping against the foggy glass door on its own accord pulled you out of your mental battle. You heard him call for you to enter, and you took a few deep breaths before doing so. Once you stood in front of him, your heart was beating so loud in your chest you barely could make out the words he was speaking.

“What can I do for you, y/n?” his warm brown eyes were encouraging you to talk. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks as he took you in, eyes falling to what you had brought along.

“Mr. Stark…” you took a deep breath before handing him the stack of papers you had been carrying. “I wanted to tell you about something that has been going on for the past two or three months.” You watched as he started flipping through the papers you had handed him, his eyes roaming over the letters.

“Sit down please, y/n, I’m guessing you want to go into details with this.” you nodded before sitting down in front of him, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “How did these mails come into your possession?”

“I stumbled upon a small breach in the firewall when I was doing checkouts on the main account. It was like an anonymous tip email – you could send an email from your own and it would be sent out to selected company emails.” You explained and watched as Tony nodded.

He cleared his throat before signaling you to find it on his stationary. You quickly typed in the passwords and soon after found the small breach, right where you’d found it last time. You retreated back to your chair, and watched as Tony scrolled through the site before closing it down again.

“So, I want to hear your side of the story. And please, start from the beginning, where you think this has its roots.”

With a sigh, you told Tony everything. He watched you as you spoke, telling him about your first week, the date with James, the way he’d overstepped your boundaries and the many times he’d asked you out for a rebound date. How rumors had started to surface, spreading like wildfire throughout the office, and how you’d just a few minutes ago discovered where the rumors originally had come from.

He looked down at the papers, before flipping through, landing on one, before he started to read out loud.

**_Y/n Y/l/n has taken desperation to new heights with the idea of a promotion lodged so far into her brain, she’s willing to ruin a family in order to get it. I’m not mentioning names, but a certain Stark has been the victim of her latest sexcapade._ **

Your chin quivered as you heard the words coming out of Tony’s mouth, making it all a little more real. You didn’t know what to say, so with your eyes trained on the floor in front of you, the embarrassment becoming way too much for you to handle, you clamped up like an oyster.

You felt gross, dirty, even though you knew it was a lie. You heard the papers glide over each other, before Tony cleared his throat, making you look up at him. You could clearly see the way he was thinking everything over, and how he was considering his options.

He put the papers down on his desk, before he leaned over the table, elbows resting against the mahogany and chin on the heels of his hands. “Y/n, I would like to hear what you expect me to do about this?” His eyes were friendly, welcoming, and you found yourself trusting him. Before you had the chance to stop yourself, you caught yourself saying,

“I don’t want anyone fired.” With a sigh, you watched as Tony’s features softened. “I don’t want anyone to get fired because of this. It’s blatant lies. I just want… To hold them, him, accountable for what he’s been saying about me.”

“Y/n, I’m going to ask you this, for the sake of these papers. I know it’s personal, and it’s completely alright if you don’t want to tell me.” You nodded, possibly already knowing what he was going to ask you. “Have you had any relations with the men mentioned in these statements?”

You exhaled through your nose, understanding that if just one of the statements were true, some others would be as well.

“No. The only relation I had was with Barnes during my first week. I don’t even think you can call that a relation.” You fiddled your fingers as you awaited his next words, heart beating so loudly you were afraid that Tony would hear it.

“Alright.” Tony straightened himself before he flipped through the pages again, finding his highlighter and marking every sender on the different mails. “I’m going to go through these mails with Barnes. Would you rather I kept it a secret, that you came with these?” Tony looked up and watched as you nodded.

“Very well then.” His eyes fell back onto the papers, his fingers grabbing a pen before scribbling something in his god-awful handwriting. “I’ll have a talk with Barnes.” You let out a relieved sigh, offering him a small smile.

“I can’t promise you there won’t be consequences for him.” Tony wrote another note, before handing it to you. “Most likely a time out and time off for him. A month? Two?” Tony asked you, and you looked down at the note in your hand.

**_Barnes_ **

**_Restricted mail access_ **

**_Starting today_ **

**_Ending when I say so_ **

You nod, before whispering out a “I guess one month is alright.”

“Great. Will you hand that to Mrs. Potts on the way down? I’ll make sure there will be put an end to this, alright?” Tony rose from his seat and walked around his desk, standing just a little taller than you as he led you to the door. “I want my company to be a safe space. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. You did the right thing.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.” You smiled at him before heading back to your workstation, handing Mrs. Potts the note Mr. Stark had given you on your way back. You could already feel the tension lightening as you passed Barnes’ workstation, noting that he hadn’t come in today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi darling babies,  
> I finally got some inspiration to continue this. just a little for now, but it's better than nothing <3   
> let me know what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> your feedback keeps me alive!


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